Tree Hugging Hippy Bastard

As I was applying to Yale earlier, partly for shits and giggles and partly to cash in my legacy chips, I realized that life is short and answering the questions would be draining potentially titillating hours of my life. And it's not even like I'll ever benefit from it in any way. I question my ability to be part of the Class of 2014 of a community college, nevermind the Ivy League. When I recieve my college rejection letters I'm going to neatly hang them on the bulletin board in my room and pour myself a cup of hot coco as a toast to the thousands of dollars my parents wasted on my applications that could have easily and more appeasingly (to me anyway) been spent on Louboutins. Actually, I lie. I'm not going to neatly hang them. I'm going to create some sort of Origami design out of them so that at least these institutions which promulgate their desire to mold global citizens and create a green earthof peace, happiness, and weed will not be allowed to heartlessly kill trees. Not on my watch. It's interesting that these pseudo-intellectuals will condemn a fabulously exorbitant pair of shoes yet possess the audicity to own, and even brag about, a library full of books. Now correct me if I'm mistaken, but do books not bear unnecessairy costs on both the enviornment and the pocketbook by being printed when they could readily be available online? You didn't think of that did you , tree hugging hippy bastard? Not that I'm claiming to be better than anyone: I love books and I love shoes. I do not intend to abjure either one. But am I the one issuing the condemnations? Exactly.